For Thea and Kevin, self-direction wasn’t just a change in services – it was a chance to finally live their lives in a way that made sense for them as a married couple. Before self-direction, traditional provider services often treated them as two separate individuals rather than partners sharing a life. “The traditional services just weren’t working for us,” they explained. “Since we’re a married couple, we had trouble finding support that fit both of us together.
Self-direction offered something different. “It’s given us the flexibility to get support in the way that we need it,” they shared. One of the biggest changes was the ability to hire their own staff. “We can hire the people that we choose,” they said, “and they fill in the gaps, doing whatever we need help with that we can’t do for ourselves.” Having staff who can drive their own vehicle has been especially important. “Before, we were either stuck in the house or relying on public transportation,” Kevin said. “Now, if we want to go out, we just get in the car and go.”
Today, Thea works four days a week at Grace Fellowship Church, where she runs the disability ministry, a role that reflects her passion for community. Kevin manages much of the household, handling grocery shopping, laundry, and daily tasks that keep their home running smoothly. He also volunteers every Monday at First Fruits Farm in Freeland. Their support staff assist with everything from driving to activities of daily living, while treating them with dignity. “They treat us like normal, everyday people,” they shared, which has made a meaningful difference in how supported and respected they feel.
Their journey together began in 2006 when they met through an assisted travel program. Their relationship grew over time, leading to dating in 2010, an engagement in 2012, and marriage in 2014. Walking the self-directed path together has allowed Kevin and Thea to build independence without relying on family members for every need. Having flexible, individualized supports in place, tailored to each of their schedules has given them greater freedom and control over their daily lives. They also recognize the value of efficiency and shared that, when appropriate, they would welcome future opportunities to responsibly share support staff in ways that make sense for their household while remaining fiscally mindful and person-centered.
When asked what advice they would give to others considering self-direction, they are honest and encouraging. “Don’t be afraid to do it,” they said. While managing staff and services can be extra work, they emphasized that the outcome is worth it. “At the end of it, you have a life that you want and a life that you choose.”